I grew up in Minnesota. My families roots have been here for several generations. My 88 year old parents still live on their own, happily, within a one mile radius of where I was raised. A town they are well known in for their service, contribution and vision. When it became my turn to be an adult, I married, too young, for love that went terribly awry rather quickly. Marriage moved me out of Minnesota and in to the wilds and way backs of Central Louisiana as an Air Force wife. For a girl who had grown up in "Pleasantville", those first 18 months of life as..an adult..were full of life lessons and personal tragedies and the related strategies to extract myself to safety and a better life. What I learned then, as well as what I learned along my life journey has taught me much about myself and what I want for my life, the risks I'm willing to calculate, fall or rise from. I found I'm made of pretty strong stuff for a girl from "Pleasantville."
Today I get the pleasure, truly, of spending an hour or so with other graduates from my high school class - we call ourselves the Lunch Bunch. Moving home to MN after being on that road that has taken me through four well established careers and yet another marriage and divorce, surviving a rare form of cancer, the birth and womanhood of my only daughter and the physical and emotional embraces of thousands of good people and places. And I can tell you, it's been all good, some was just better.
As I contemplate meeting up with all those cronies from 1974 I find myself always 'preparing' to be amongst them, much like I've heard other people 'prepare' to be with their family during the holidays. In coaching, there is a term we teach coachee's about - it's called, "Contrast and Compare." And it is within those three words I find myself, each time I walk in to this group of fabulous, intelligent, fun loving, well lived life old friends and acquaintances. It takes me back to when I stood, cap and gown, blue and gold, the draft was ending, life seemed huge and the road before me now brings merit to "if I only knew now, what I knew then" as a truth in my own life.
I contrast and compare myself to the woman I was then, to the one I am now. In performing this step, in this case, my contrast today shows me, I had an intention for my life all along yet wasn't fully conscious or uncovering or utilizing it up until about 12 years ago. I also note that when I compare myself to the woman I was at 17 to the one who sits here this morning at 53, I do literally laugh out loud. The 17 or 53 year old me, remains, pretty much the same at the core. My innane sense of curiosity was born out of being scared to death of being seen as stupid and while much of that remains, I focus my curiosity now on pursuits that life me, attract me, that I want to learn or know about. My ability to sit on the phone for hours at a time as a young girl, listening, cajoleing or advising or coaching my male or female peers about whatever it was that was so damn difficult about life back then, remains and is now something I'm actually professionally trained, adept and quite good at doing - now, I get paid for it with money, as well as with the love and regard I once received as being part of their getting unstuck and moving forward.
Still, the other core value of mine (besides curiosity) that shows up today is one of connection. In this Lunch Bunch group, we all had a known place at one point - a place when we try to put the current round whole person into their old square peg, they just don't seem to fit as well. The quiet ones now have stories they tell, the loud ones seem to listen more, the jokesters are no longer cruel or indifferent to someone's feelings, the super intelligent ones still spend more time observing and are usually done eating first, most all have children, most all have dealt with tragedy, everyone defines success differently and shows up in or on their way to their version, talk of grandchildren and even retirement comes out of the mouths of people that just yesterday were 17, like me.
To me, it is so evident, we are all connected, no matter what we've done, or where we've gone, we all remain connected to some high school experience we sprung off and up and out from into the world - to only choose to return to a monthly lunch bunch, this many years later, even some of us as strangers to one another - because of the basis of a connection from Rosemount Senior High School, Class of 74, 73, 72, 75, 76. How powerful a connection is that? To want to break bread, re-learn and know, laugh with and touch the lives of people who used to wander the halls, pass notes, deal with the broken hearts, the bad grades, the winning of awards or athletics, family issues - who unknowingly but with bravery stood and stared out at life, took off and made of it what any of us has.
In contrast, I lived blindly for a lot of years, out of touch with who I showed up as versus just was - who I wanted to be and doing things I thought would lead me to something I thought I wanted to only figure out it wasn't "it". I'm still doing it, to a lesser degree than I was, but I'm still reacting to life more than responding to it in a lot of ways I'll figure out yet.
So what about it... This Lunch Bunch thing grounds me. It reminds me to continue to contrast and compare me, with me. It calls forward a gap in which I can constructively take some actions to support the difference I desire. It also supports me in connections with people who had a shared life experience with me in being planted, fertilized and blooming in to something quite as fabulous as we all truly are. I see them, in their beauty; having weathered their own storms, droughts, plagues and blights and I see the strength, the resilience, the compassion their 70's indominatable spirits built a life around. In knowing and receiving our past for how well it served us, perfectly, we savor our present. And, I need to savor my present far more consciously and often to have the life I desire.
My request for you today is that you too join me in contrasting and comparing your self/life to a point in time which stands out for you clearly. Compare who you were and what you wanted to today's version of you. What's in the gap of time that shows up as important to you? What feeds your soul? Puts gas in your engine? Compells you to continue to show up each and every day of your life? Now contrast. Go back to that same point and time and see what is different about you. And note how you gained those skills, strengths, weaknesses along the way. Is it what you wanted more of? If not, what do you want more of standing in the contrast of it all? What can you do, who can you connect with to inform and invite to play a new or slightly modified way with you, the way you consciously want to grow? Do let me know.
Until the next time, I'll finish up a few things here and then be off to lunch.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Glimpse 11 - Expand vs. Push
It amazes me how often I have to "push" myself to do the things I know will expand my territory, world, curiosity. As I begin to more officially kick start or "re-launch" my own coaching organization I know exactly what I need to do. Daily. Seriously, I know it -- and yet, it's seems so damn scary, almost difficult to do it this time around.
I'm a coach. I'm professionally trained and have years of experience at this. The undertanding, comprehension and skill sets are all there for my craft, as well those necessary to build a business which makes a measureable, attainable... achievable difference in several ways. Still.. I'm filled with angst. Am I really good enough, do I really have what it takes? Hell, I even put Field of Dreams on my Netflix list to get a good shot of "If you build it, they will come." going for myself.
Each of us has this piece within us that aligns in our work with who we are. Coaching couldn't be more perfect if I would have made it up and slapped a name on it myself way back in 1985 when it truly began as a profession. I feel very blessed to 'get it' as well as I do and even more so to look out at the lives and faces of the hundred's of people I've served with who have allowed me to call myself their coach. Still that piece that aligns with who I am isn't going off as easily as it did some 11 or 12 years ago when I threw out my shingle and said, "Let's ROCK the Casbah kiddies."
You see, after training and starting Ko-ching, I took some time off from my own business to further my own and others skills and lives by beginning and work with a non-profit organization that spent five years figuring it out and all the while expanded lives, charitably, through coaching and through training coaching skills. It's a ride I don't regret and yet it's a ride that made me kinda dizzy and disoriented upon getting off of it. When I began coaching, I had no 'baggage' around it, the business of it, the chaos of what some people call coaching that isn't, the lack surrounding alot of the people in my field practicing it - coaching was just this 'thing' I had to do then and by God, I just did it. I don't recall the feelings of "holyshitamIreallygonnadothis" I have as I sit here today.
And yet.. there is nothing else. No one I'd rather be, nothing I'd rather be doing. This is my "it" in life. Supporting others in moving it up, on. Taking the higher hill and calling them forward to and through their own greatness. Listening, intently, without judgment, to someone in a place of sheer brilliance as they wander their path to figure out their own best answers and actions. Holding someone accountable to taking steps, big OR small, to re-invent their life and truly themselves within it. To have the opportunity to stand on a set of trainings, experience and ethics that is in complete agreement with my own spiritual beliefs seeing everyone as creative, resourceful and whole - right where they are, right now.. creating relationships of trust and sanctity and based on identifying reality and then altering it to a place of hope, courage, faith, trust... action. To be a part of some one else's life as a catalyst of sorts, to hear them, see them, know them as they grow and change and get more of what they TRULY want - even if it's slow or fast - it is all so very good to me. It feeds my soul.
And so it goes. What attracts me to it, what makes me me, will draw me out, self responsible for those changes and actions I need to grasp or grapple with, I will go forward. And no matter what comes, I will handle it. Because I practice what I preach. I know the difference it makes and I am, what I am. Creative, resourceful and.. very whole.
My request for you today is for you too, to identify, with great clarity, what it is that draws you forward to something compelling and beautiful, challenging or real in your life - and then, write me two ways you can have more of that today in your life.
I'm a coach. I'm professionally trained and have years of experience at this. The undertanding, comprehension and skill sets are all there for my craft, as well those necessary to build a business which makes a measureable, attainable... achievable difference in several ways. Still.. I'm filled with angst. Am I really good enough, do I really have what it takes? Hell, I even put Field of Dreams on my Netflix list to get a good shot of "If you build it, they will come." going for myself.
Each of us has this piece within us that aligns in our work with who we are. Coaching couldn't be more perfect if I would have made it up and slapped a name on it myself way back in 1985 when it truly began as a profession. I feel very blessed to 'get it' as well as I do and even more so to look out at the lives and faces of the hundred's of people I've served with who have allowed me to call myself their coach. Still that piece that aligns with who I am isn't going off as easily as it did some 11 or 12 years ago when I threw out my shingle and said, "Let's ROCK the Casbah kiddies."
You see, after training and starting Ko-ching, I took some time off from my own business to further my own and others skills and lives by beginning and work with a non-profit organization that spent five years figuring it out and all the while expanded lives, charitably, through coaching and through training coaching skills. It's a ride I don't regret and yet it's a ride that made me kinda dizzy and disoriented upon getting off of it. When I began coaching, I had no 'baggage' around it, the business of it, the chaos of what some people call coaching that isn't, the lack surrounding alot of the people in my field practicing it - coaching was just this 'thing' I had to do then and by God, I just did it. I don't recall the feelings of "holyshitamIreallygonnadothis" I have as I sit here today.
And yet.. there is nothing else. No one I'd rather be, nothing I'd rather be doing. This is my "it" in life. Supporting others in moving it up, on. Taking the higher hill and calling them forward to and through their own greatness. Listening, intently, without judgment, to someone in a place of sheer brilliance as they wander their path to figure out their own best answers and actions. Holding someone accountable to taking steps, big OR small, to re-invent their life and truly themselves within it. To have the opportunity to stand on a set of trainings, experience and ethics that is in complete agreement with my own spiritual beliefs seeing everyone as creative, resourceful and whole - right where they are, right now.. creating relationships of trust and sanctity and based on identifying reality and then altering it to a place of hope, courage, faith, trust... action. To be a part of some one else's life as a catalyst of sorts, to hear them, see them, know them as they grow and change and get more of what they TRULY want - even if it's slow or fast - it is all so very good to me. It feeds my soul.
And so it goes. What attracts me to it, what makes me me, will draw me out, self responsible for those changes and actions I need to grasp or grapple with, I will go forward. And no matter what comes, I will handle it. Because I practice what I preach. I know the difference it makes and I am, what I am. Creative, resourceful and.. very whole.
My request for you today is for you too, to identify, with great clarity, what it is that draws you forward to something compelling and beautiful, challenging or real in your life - and then, write me two ways you can have more of that today in your life.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Glimpse 10 - Mirrors..
Grocery stores are amazing places. If you go in on a mission and keep your head down and in your own little world, you miss half the fun and learning. Yesterday afternoon was one such event.
She looked harmless enough. She didn't look like a person who would limit her family in anyway yet there she stood screeching "I'd NEVER do that, why would you want to even read about thaaaht? You have five at home you never read about that. You want to spend good money on something you already read about?"
CUB is a chain of grocery stores here and as I browsed through a selection of books that said in a huge heap at an end cap yesterday, there she stood. I grant you this ecclectic mix of everything from how to groom your dog to repair a small engine to decorate a cake to fiction and other non-fiction was a pretty wild ride. Yet every book her son or husband picked up to review, she seemed to have this eagle eye complete with comment ready for them both. I actually started hiding my title selection in case this well intentioned saviour of $4.99 from my debit card launched on me.
Most people I know would tell you I am in 'coach mode' all the time - to which I say bullshit. I may be in coach mentality and curious about things, but I am not in full armour of coach mode. My first clue I was not in that mode was I wanted to make this woman, mother, wife, WRONG. Coaching seeks to make you RIGHT. Coaches believe each individual is creative, resourceful and whole, and all I wanted to do was open my sharp tongued mouth and protect these innocent men who were browsing books, probably to make HER happy to begin with, from her comments. Nobody was a winner here in my mind. Coach mode.. I dare say NOT. Unwarranted consultant mode, maybe.
I wanted to tell, not inform and invite. Asking her anything would have been a skillful manipulation towards her to see where she was grossly in error. Nope, I wanted to tell her...things like, "Hey Lady, give it a rest, I'm sure your husband is naturally attracted to looking at small engine repair, I'd rather spend time in a cold garage than in a warm house with you any day of the week, just let him just look in peace for God's sakes." Or for her son, "So what if he has a few books on paper mache sculpture at home and the last creative thing you made was celery, peanut butter and raisins, he's just looking at new creative ideas." Horrors, I noticed I started to look more at what she was reviewing. I mean really, her verbal assault on her family members was what had drawn my auditory processing in to their drama. If nothing else than to observe but then slowly created this neeeeeeed in me to report to her a smack down version of what I was watching. My desire to remind her that reading is a wonderful thing to be championed in all, to ask her how many diet cook books she already had that she apparently wasn't reading, oh it was like a water fall after a big rain; my mind awash with things to make cracks about. Coach mode? Not a bit.
It was getting too much for me to bear and she hadn't even noticed me when she bumped in to me and announced to them, "I'm done here, let's go check out" and the two quietly put down their books and followed her to a cashier.
Now my mind is awash with questions here. In the five minutes that transpired; not one word came from the mouths of the husband or the son, nor me for that matter. She or they bought nothing. It was curious to watch how people sorted a huge variety of rather disorganized mess of titles/books and even perhaps relationship.
What I noticed most? I was the one noticing what SHE was reading, SHE was limiting, SHE was labeling... and what I've come to realize is, so was I...
She looked harmless enough. She didn't look like a person who would limit her family in anyway yet there she stood screeching "I'd NEVER do that, why would you want to even read about thaaaht? You have five at home you never read about that. You want to spend good money on something you already read about?"
CUB is a chain of grocery stores here and as I browsed through a selection of books that said in a huge heap at an end cap yesterday, there she stood. I grant you this ecclectic mix of everything from how to groom your dog to repair a small engine to decorate a cake to fiction and other non-fiction was a pretty wild ride. Yet every book her son or husband picked up to review, she seemed to have this eagle eye complete with comment ready for them both. I actually started hiding my title selection in case this well intentioned saviour of $4.99 from my debit card launched on me.
Most people I know would tell you I am in 'coach mode' all the time - to which I say bullshit. I may be in coach mentality and curious about things, but I am not in full armour of coach mode. My first clue I was not in that mode was I wanted to make this woman, mother, wife, WRONG. Coaching seeks to make you RIGHT. Coaches believe each individual is creative, resourceful and whole, and all I wanted to do was open my sharp tongued mouth and protect these innocent men who were browsing books, probably to make HER happy to begin with, from her comments. Nobody was a winner here in my mind. Coach mode.. I dare say NOT. Unwarranted consultant mode, maybe.
I wanted to tell, not inform and invite. Asking her anything would have been a skillful manipulation towards her to see where she was grossly in error. Nope, I wanted to tell her...things like, "Hey Lady, give it a rest, I'm sure your husband is naturally attracted to looking at small engine repair, I'd rather spend time in a cold garage than in a warm house with you any day of the week, just let him just look in peace for God's sakes." Or for her son, "So what if he has a few books on paper mache sculpture at home and the last creative thing you made was celery, peanut butter and raisins, he's just looking at new creative ideas." Horrors, I noticed I started to look more at what she was reviewing. I mean really, her verbal assault on her family members was what had drawn my auditory processing in to their drama. If nothing else than to observe but then slowly created this neeeeeeed in me to report to her a smack down version of what I was watching. My desire to remind her that reading is a wonderful thing to be championed in all, to ask her how many diet cook books she already had that she apparently wasn't reading, oh it was like a water fall after a big rain; my mind awash with things to make cracks about. Coach mode? Not a bit.
It was getting too much for me to bear and she hadn't even noticed me when she bumped in to me and announced to them, "I'm done here, let's go check out" and the two quietly put down their books and followed her to a cashier.
Now my mind is awash with questions here. In the five minutes that transpired; not one word came from the mouths of the husband or the son, nor me for that matter. She or they bought nothing. It was curious to watch how people sorted a huge variety of rather disorganized mess of titles/books and even perhaps relationship.
What I noticed most? I was the one noticing what SHE was reading, SHE was limiting, SHE was labeling... and what I've come to realize is, so was I...
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Glimpse 9 - Whither thou goest - the freedom of love
How do family and friends influence the decisions that create your life? Does it limit you? Set you free? Bring you safety? Comfort? Solace? Sadness? Bind you with duty or obligation? Offer guidance. Give you authority or self confidence? Enjoin you to a world of people you yourself would never spend time knowing?
In the Bible and the Talmud is the story of Ruth. A famous quotation, many people incorrectly believe to be about her love for her husband, goes like this... "And Ruth said, Entreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God." News Flash - she was speaking to her mother in law, after her husband died.
My life choices are influenced a great deal by who I choose to stand with, travel with, love. Some days, it feels limiting - others more perfect than I could ever tell you. What about yours?
Ruth made her choice with conviction, honesty, love, dedication and commitment - my best guess? It was from her view/intention for her life and in complete agreement with her value system. The woman had character.
So.. the request for myself today is simple. Am I living a life in touch with my tribe; surrounded by people who I love, comprehend and support their growth and they mine? Am I living this life because I choose to or just because I wake up here each day? The difference between the two is a wide array of emotions and thoughts for me. It would be easier to not answer these questions and determine what it is I want. Easier to not develop the muscles for any of it and move on through pretending it was not my choice but more my circumstance. Ignorance is never bliss for long. Eventually it hunts me down and teaches me something.
The key in all of it seems quite apparent. Function from a place of the love of my God, of myself and remain in truthful service to others. It's where I always wind up anyway like some inherent circular reference stuck in the spreadsheet of life. Consciously I get a bit skritchy and am challenged by the absolute seeming lack of freedom in the statement "Whither thou goest, I will go" and meaning it. Yet...my inherent character and nature have been doing it my entire life without realizing it. The bottom line is no matter where I've lived around the world, no matter what big shot or little shot jobs I've had, traveling and being with people I love(d) and love(d) me back is my ultimate view of a wonderful, successful life... Ruth knew it, committed to it and by uttering the truth of it set herself free to whatever and wherever came next.
Whither thou goest, I will go. Bring it on.
In the Bible and the Talmud is the story of Ruth. A famous quotation, many people incorrectly believe to be about her love for her husband, goes like this... "And Ruth said, Entreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God." News Flash - she was speaking to her mother in law, after her husband died.
My life choices are influenced a great deal by who I choose to stand with, travel with, love. Some days, it feels limiting - others more perfect than I could ever tell you. What about yours?
Ruth made her choice with conviction, honesty, love, dedication and commitment - my best guess? It was from her view/intention for her life and in complete agreement with her value system. The woman had character.
So.. the request for myself today is simple. Am I living a life in touch with my tribe; surrounded by people who I love, comprehend and support their growth and they mine? Am I living this life because I choose to or just because I wake up here each day? The difference between the two is a wide array of emotions and thoughts for me. It would be easier to not answer these questions and determine what it is I want. Easier to not develop the muscles for any of it and move on through pretending it was not my choice but more my circumstance. Ignorance is never bliss for long. Eventually it hunts me down and teaches me something.
The key in all of it seems quite apparent. Function from a place of the love of my God, of myself and remain in truthful service to others. It's where I always wind up anyway like some inherent circular reference stuck in the spreadsheet of life. Consciously I get a bit skritchy and am challenged by the absolute seeming lack of freedom in the statement "Whither thou goest, I will go" and meaning it. Yet...my inherent character and nature have been doing it my entire life without realizing it. The bottom line is no matter where I've lived around the world, no matter what big shot or little shot jobs I've had, traveling and being with people I love(d) and love(d) me back is my ultimate view of a wonderful, successful life... Ruth knew it, committed to it and by uttering the truth of it set herself free to whatever and wherever came next.
Whither thou goest, I will go. Bring it on.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Glimpse 8 - Most Important vs Most Urgent
sigh... a beautiful winter's day outside and I'm looking out on it wondering any number of things as the day begins. I'm especially wrestling with what's most important versus what's most urgent today. There are so many hob goblins running around in my life and work; it's just very important I sit with my coffee and make best choices based on the real truth of what I know.
Everyday I have several enjoyable habits or routines which seem to serve me well. I make it a practice of reading something, old or new, not on line but in printed form, for fifteen to twenty minutes each morning. I especially like to read things from my fields of expertise, health or nutrition related, biking or fly fishing - generaly non fiction... That's important. A high fiber breakfast, my vitamins, related stretching - important. Every day I have a choice of keeping up those practices or changing them based on what's most important or most urgent in my life. Letting the dog out...urgently important most mornings.
Living my life with an intention of what I desire to bring to others and life in general, as well as what I require from being and doing those actions, has a lot to do with how I arrive and in my definition of success. Running around like a chicken with my head cut off is one way of insuring myself a delayed arrival.
I've also found there is a false sense of urgency in my life that causes me to get distracted from what's most important to me. This false sense of urgency is generally me lying to myself about something or someone's "expectation" or my own abundant ability to over commit myself. In order to "know" the difference of I vs. U, initially I asked myself two questions to sort it out. "Who says it's urgent?" "Is that the truth?".
In coaching others I've learned that the term "time management" is a bit of joke to me. I don't manage time, it's gonna tick away like the metronome of life it's supposed to be, with or without me. I manage me, my actions and I do it more often than not based on what seems most urgent. To make matters more interesting, I believed and had convinced myself..somehow..that it is all urgently important to be all things, to all people, all the time.
There is a remarkable difference in my days since learning this piece. More often than not, I attempt and even succeed at setting my actions and days around what's most important; (of much or great significance or consequence) and I keep my focus on knowing what that is to me each day, sometimes in each minute. Family, friends, being of service, loving whatever I'm doing for whatever reason I'm doing it.... because I said so.....and....yes, it's the truth. I've saved most urgent for what it truly is; compelling or requiring immediate action or attention; imperative; pressing. Thankfully my urgent life has started the shift to being an important one. Most people around me seem to have noticed and supported my new awareness and choices.
The request I make of you today is quite simple... make a mental or written list of what is most important and examples of what is most urgent. Learn them, know the difference and apply to your own life at will.
For me, the dog has to go out again... it appears to be urgent. Who says it is? She does. Is it the truth? Yep. And so it goes.
Everyday I have several enjoyable habits or routines which seem to serve me well. I make it a practice of reading something, old or new, not on line but in printed form, for fifteen to twenty minutes each morning. I especially like to read things from my fields of expertise, health or nutrition related, biking or fly fishing - generaly non fiction... That's important. A high fiber breakfast, my vitamins, related stretching - important. Every day I have a choice of keeping up those practices or changing them based on what's most important or most urgent in my life. Letting the dog out...urgently important most mornings.
Living my life with an intention of what I desire to bring to others and life in general, as well as what I require from being and doing those actions, has a lot to do with how I arrive and in my definition of success. Running around like a chicken with my head cut off is one way of insuring myself a delayed arrival.
I've also found there is a false sense of urgency in my life that causes me to get distracted from what's most important to me. This false sense of urgency is generally me lying to myself about something or someone's "expectation" or my own abundant ability to over commit myself. In order to "know" the difference of I vs. U, initially I asked myself two questions to sort it out. "Who says it's urgent?" "Is that the truth?".
In coaching others I've learned that the term "time management" is a bit of joke to me. I don't manage time, it's gonna tick away like the metronome of life it's supposed to be, with or without me. I manage me, my actions and I do it more often than not based on what seems most urgent. To make matters more interesting, I believed and had convinced myself..somehow..that it is all urgently important to be all things, to all people, all the time.
There is a remarkable difference in my days since learning this piece. More often than not, I attempt and even succeed at setting my actions and days around what's most important; (of much or great significance or consequence) and I keep my focus on knowing what that is to me each day, sometimes in each minute. Family, friends, being of service, loving whatever I'm doing for whatever reason I'm doing it.... because I said so.....and....yes, it's the truth. I've saved most urgent for what it truly is; compelling or requiring immediate action or attention; imperative; pressing. Thankfully my urgent life has started the shift to being an important one. Most people around me seem to have noticed and supported my new awareness and choices.
The request I make of you today is quite simple... make a mental or written list of what is most important and examples of what is most urgent. Learn them, know the difference and apply to your own life at will.
For me, the dog has to go out again... it appears to be urgent. Who says it is? She does. Is it the truth? Yep. And so it goes.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Glimpse 7 - Ughy feelings, overwhelm, accountability and horoscopes
Coaches when coaching, and probably other times, engage in provocative conversation. Thomas Leonard once wrote this about it, "The key distinction in coaching is in provocative conversation vs nice chat."
That's not to say a coaching conversation isn't nice - it's just not a coaching conversation unless its provocative. (Provocative = tending or serving to provoke; inciting, stimulating, irritating, or vexing.)
It's also not to say that you have to hire a coach to have a coaching conversation - sometimes, something shows up that causes the internal coaching conversation, focused on you, what you are doing/being and moving forward in life.
Today my horoscope arrived via email, as it usually does. And.. it was one such piece and so, I share the provocative horoscope with you. Whether you are a Leo or not -- this shoe fits many I know.
Thank you Daily Ohm.
February 15, 2010
Easing Your Load
Leo Daily Horoscope
You may feel protective of your work today and fearful that your colleagues or loved ones will jeopardize the projects that are important to you.
A strong sense of responsibility can make it difficult for you to work cooperatively with others, particularly if you feel you are accountable for the results of a group project.
Delegating work to individuals you respect and hold in high esteem can help assuage your fears.
You may discover that you enjoy your personal and professional projects more when you are not overwhelmed by your workload.
You may need to accept that others will use different methods and consciously choose to allow them their autonomy. If you have difficulty delegating tasks today, begin by assigning relatively unimportant work to others.
Learning to share responsibility with others can free you from the need to work in isolation and help you avoid becoming overwhelmed by your obligations.
Often, because we are afraid to ask people for help or believe that their dedication will not match our own, we avoid delegating tasks to our colleagues or loved ones.
When you partition major responsibilities into individual tasks and allow others to assist you, you can accomplish more than you can on your own. You’ll feel confident that those you have chosen to work alongside you are capable of handling any challenges that might arise, and as a result you’ll have more mental energy to devote to your individual duties. When you freely share responsibility today, you’ll have more energy to devote to the tasks that are important to you.
That's not to say a coaching conversation isn't nice - it's just not a coaching conversation unless its provocative. (Provocative = tending or serving to provoke; inciting, stimulating, irritating, or vexing.)
It's also not to say that you have to hire a coach to have a coaching conversation - sometimes, something shows up that causes the internal coaching conversation, focused on you, what you are doing/being and moving forward in life.
Today my horoscope arrived via email, as it usually does. And.. it was one such piece and so, I share the provocative horoscope with you. Whether you are a Leo or not -- this shoe fits many I know.
Thank you Daily Ohm.
February 15, 2010
Easing Your Load
Leo Daily Horoscope
You may feel protective of your work today and fearful that your colleagues or loved ones will jeopardize the projects that are important to you.
A strong sense of responsibility can make it difficult for you to work cooperatively with others, particularly if you feel you are accountable for the results of a group project.
Delegating work to individuals you respect and hold in high esteem can help assuage your fears.
You may discover that you enjoy your personal and professional projects more when you are not overwhelmed by your workload.
You may need to accept that others will use different methods and consciously choose to allow them their autonomy. If you have difficulty delegating tasks today, begin by assigning relatively unimportant work to others.
Learning to share responsibility with others can free you from the need to work in isolation and help you avoid becoming overwhelmed by your obligations.
Often, because we are afraid to ask people for help or believe that their dedication will not match our own, we avoid delegating tasks to our colleagues or loved ones.
When you partition major responsibilities into individual tasks and allow others to assist you, you can accomplish more than you can on your own. You’ll feel confident that those you have chosen to work alongside you are capable of handling any challenges that might arise, and as a result you’ll have more mental energy to devote to your individual duties. When you freely share responsibility today, you’ll have more energy to devote to the tasks that are important to you.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Glimpse 6 - Love and a Valentine's Day Challenge
Love•a strong positive emotion of regard and affection.
Pretty straight forward isn't it. As Valentine's Day approaches, over 200 million cards will be given this year on the big February 14. At a conservative rate of $2.50 a card - that's $500,000,000 spent, five hundred million...in one day, on cards alone. I don't mean to minimize the fun of receiving cards, candy, flowers, etc..
but this year, I'm gonna start a new trend and challenge each of you in my life this year to try something different. Instead of buying me a card, or flowers or candy, I'd seriously prefer you tell me you love me and then donate money or time to any non-profit or worthwhile cause of your own choosing and tell me about it.
Maybe it's paying for two latte's at the drive thru, yours and the person behind you.. seeing an older couple or a single mom or dad at brunch with their kids and anonymously picking up the tab.. maybe it's volunteering your time at a local care facility or staying a moment or two longer with someone down on their luck right now in conversation to after working out, in the grocery store or after a church service on Sunday. Maybe it's picking up the phone and offering some time to someone you love and haven't reached out to in awhile. Maybe it's giving up that close parking spot and allowing the gal with four kids and a dog to have it... maybe it's $10 to the American Cancer Society or MS or Big Brothers Big Sisters. It could be deciding to pledge that day to raise money and walk in the Breast Cancer walk or ride your bike as far as you can in the MS rides or any other therein. It might mean trying to recycle more often or conserve water or energy in some manner - whatever it is..it needs to be a strong, positive emotion of regard and affection - for someone. From you.
If you choose to take on this challenge, I warn you now, it can be life altering. The simple act of anything done from a foundation of love - kindness, donation of your hard earned cash, talents..time, is an energy extended from you, in to the world of others. It expands your territory in ways I cannot describe. It matters, it changes you, it changes who receives it - and I've never NOT seen it make a difference.
Finding the "what" you want to do and with who and when you want to do it on Valentine's Day takes considerable insight in to yourself. Which is perhaps what I like most about this challenge. It can be as close to home as your sweetheart or family members or it could be further out in your circle of influence. To be able to give from a place of love is potentially the single best place to give from. It can even become a habit.
In our world, there are so many score sheets and tabulations - in giving from love, all those go out the window. In giving from love, you care not what you get back, you keep no tabs....you care only to give heartfully to those areas you have a strong positive emotion of regard and affection, because that's how love works. Anything else doesn't.
Happy Valentine's Day to each of you - and to those of you who take this challenge on February 14 or any other day of the week, let me know how it goes for you. What you thought, felt, learned.
I love you. And saying it to you didn't cost me a dime.
Pretty straight forward isn't it. As Valentine's Day approaches, over 200 million cards will be given this year on the big February 14. At a conservative rate of $2.50 a card - that's $500,000,000 spent, five hundred million...in one day, on cards alone. I don't mean to minimize the fun of receiving cards, candy, flowers, etc..
but this year, I'm gonna start a new trend and challenge each of you in my life this year to try something different. Instead of buying me a card, or flowers or candy, I'd seriously prefer you tell me you love me and then donate money or time to any non-profit or worthwhile cause of your own choosing and tell me about it.
Maybe it's paying for two latte's at the drive thru, yours and the person behind you.. seeing an older couple or a single mom or dad at brunch with their kids and anonymously picking up the tab.. maybe it's volunteering your time at a local care facility or staying a moment or two longer with someone down on their luck right now in conversation to after working out, in the grocery store or after a church service on Sunday. Maybe it's picking up the phone and offering some time to someone you love and haven't reached out to in awhile. Maybe it's giving up that close parking spot and allowing the gal with four kids and a dog to have it... maybe it's $10 to the American Cancer Society or MS or Big Brothers Big Sisters. It could be deciding to pledge that day to raise money and walk in the Breast Cancer walk or ride your bike as far as you can in the MS rides or any other therein. It might mean trying to recycle more often or conserve water or energy in some manner - whatever it is..it needs to be a strong, positive emotion of regard and affection - for someone. From you.
If you choose to take on this challenge, I warn you now, it can be life altering. The simple act of anything done from a foundation of love - kindness, donation of your hard earned cash, talents..time, is an energy extended from you, in to the world of others. It expands your territory in ways I cannot describe. It matters, it changes you, it changes who receives it - and I've never NOT seen it make a difference.
Finding the "what" you want to do and with who and when you want to do it on Valentine's Day takes considerable insight in to yourself. Which is perhaps what I like most about this challenge. It can be as close to home as your sweetheart or family members or it could be further out in your circle of influence. To be able to give from a place of love is potentially the single best place to give from. It can even become a habit.
In our world, there are so many score sheets and tabulations - in giving from love, all those go out the window. In giving from love, you care not what you get back, you keep no tabs....you care only to give heartfully to those areas you have a strong positive emotion of regard and affection, because that's how love works. Anything else doesn't.
Happy Valentine's Day to each of you - and to those of you who take this challenge on February 14 or any other day of the week, let me know how it goes for you. What you thought, felt, learned.
I love you. And saying it to you didn't cost me a dime.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Glimpse 5 - Trying
I did it yesterday. I tried. I tried SO hard... and I failed. And, as fate would have it, I got to hear myself later from a digital recorder erroneously left on in my purse. I was overwhelmed with personal insights from what I heard hours later playing back at me.
A lot of people might tell you if you don't try, you'll never get anywhere. This isn't the kind of "try" I'm talking about. This isn't the figure it out, gain awareness, take a run at it version of try... this is the no plan, no focus, no awareness, thinking I'm helping everyone, just "throwing stuff at the wall and seeing if anything sticks" to make us all feel better kind of try... This is what I call, the blind try.
Within this conversation I heard me attempting to gain clarity, inject levity, make it "okay" for others and be strong. And what I heard was a woman with inappropriate humor, showing signs of confusion and pain for something completely out of her control with some relief and some fear. I heard me "trying" to find a better space for someone I love and completely missed the point that I was the one needing those things, not them.
How many times have you said this... "I try to make him/her happy, but nothing ever works?" "I tried to fix it, but it's still broken." "Every time I try to do something nice for ____, they never appreciate it." Don't assume you know what others need or want because it's probably some story you are making up and believing in. Shall I go on? Welcome to the blind try.
Here's what I learned a new layer on in personal relationships and life.
Stop blind trying, start asking.
First ask yourself, "what do I need?" then, take care of that. Communicate with yourself, translate it into potential 'best actions' and move on it as best you can. Inform and invite others, as warranted, to support this in any way you choose.
Secondly, ask the other person(s) involved, "how can I support you best?" and then LISTEN and figure out a way to either do that, or have a conversation around it.
Third.. when in any setting, especially in the 'high stakes' ones - truly listen to yourself - the outside and inside voice - for what it is you are seeking. If you have trouble with objectively hearing or seeing yourself with this piece, then do find and use a digital tape recorder, video recorder and play it back - outside of coaching, there is no better mirror to reflect who and what we are better than ourselves. This skill of listening to ourselves is grossly underrated and a muscle needing greater development in our culture.
For me, I'm going to be working on being fully present and getting my own needs met in a way that doesn't get in the way of supporting the beautiful people I have around me. What about you? Are you ready to listen to yourself, be responsible to yourself and show up? Are you ready to ask others how to support them best and go with it?
Stop trying. Start being.
A lot of people might tell you if you don't try, you'll never get anywhere. This isn't the kind of "try" I'm talking about. This isn't the figure it out, gain awareness, take a run at it version of try... this is the no plan, no focus, no awareness, thinking I'm helping everyone, just "throwing stuff at the wall and seeing if anything sticks" to make us all feel better kind of try... This is what I call, the blind try.
Within this conversation I heard me attempting to gain clarity, inject levity, make it "okay" for others and be strong. And what I heard was a woman with inappropriate humor, showing signs of confusion and pain for something completely out of her control with some relief and some fear. I heard me "trying" to find a better space for someone I love and completely missed the point that I was the one needing those things, not them.
How many times have you said this... "I try to make him/her happy, but nothing ever works?" "I tried to fix it, but it's still broken." "Every time I try to do something nice for ____, they never appreciate it." Don't assume you know what others need or want because it's probably some story you are making up and believing in. Shall I go on? Welcome to the blind try.
Here's what I learned a new layer on in personal relationships and life.
Stop blind trying, start asking.
First ask yourself, "what do I need?" then, take care of that. Communicate with yourself, translate it into potential 'best actions' and move on it as best you can. Inform and invite others, as warranted, to support this in any way you choose.
Secondly, ask the other person(s) involved, "how can I support you best?" and then LISTEN and figure out a way to either do that, or have a conversation around it.
Third.. when in any setting, especially in the 'high stakes' ones - truly listen to yourself - the outside and inside voice - for what it is you are seeking. If you have trouble with objectively hearing or seeing yourself with this piece, then do find and use a digital tape recorder, video recorder and play it back - outside of coaching, there is no better mirror to reflect who and what we are better than ourselves. This skill of listening to ourselves is grossly underrated and a muscle needing greater development in our culture.
For me, I'm going to be working on being fully present and getting my own needs met in a way that doesn't get in the way of supporting the beautiful people I have around me. What about you? Are you ready to listen to yourself, be responsible to yourself and show up? Are you ready to ask others how to support them best and go with it?
Stop trying. Start being.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Glimpse 4 - Strategic, aHa moments
There are moments in every lifetime where in just a matter of seconds, everything changes. And I do mean everything.
Someone dies, is asked to marry, is asked for divorce, finds out they are pregnant, are told they have cancer. Perhaps it is; loses a job, gets a huge promotion, starts a business, goes back to school, loses weight, stops smoking, eats healthier, gets a flat tire, overhears gossip...
Whatever it is, there are these aHa! moments in our reality when we strategically define and re-define ourselves or let something that seems bigger than us, define us for us. Our attitudes, our actions and our outcomes are determined by our choices.
Which reality will I choose in my next aHa moment? The one that empowers me and keeps me from the abyss or the one that throws me deep inside it? I've done both. Both work. Both are places I've been in. Either way, the choice is mine and in truth, it is all good. For wherever I am, I am. Knowing what my intention for my life is, truly helps me keep my focus and empowers me daily to continue on, no matter what.
Each day, we get up, we have opportunities before us in how and what we listen to, learn from, groove with, move forward with or towards -- respond or react to (there is a difference)... each day is full of moments that are either flowing with what we want or interupting our lives in self or socially perceived positive or negative fashions to create those aHa moments... Keep clear your intentions for yourself, find your focus and... what's most important, in my glimpse this morning, is for all of us to understand that seeing, hearing or knowing a part or all of anything and what we feel/think or do about it, is up to each of us.
Groove on oh mighty warriors - we all have what it takes - some just don't know it yet.
Someone dies, is asked to marry, is asked for divorce, finds out they are pregnant, are told they have cancer. Perhaps it is; loses a job, gets a huge promotion, starts a business, goes back to school, loses weight, stops smoking, eats healthier, gets a flat tire, overhears gossip...
Whatever it is, there are these aHa! moments in our reality when we strategically define and re-define ourselves or let something that seems bigger than us, define us for us. Our attitudes, our actions and our outcomes are determined by our choices.
Which reality will I choose in my next aHa moment? The one that empowers me and keeps me from the abyss or the one that throws me deep inside it? I've done both. Both work. Both are places I've been in. Either way, the choice is mine and in truth, it is all good. For wherever I am, I am. Knowing what my intention for my life is, truly helps me keep my focus and empowers me daily to continue on, no matter what.
Each day, we get up, we have opportunities before us in how and what we listen to, learn from, groove with, move forward with or towards -- respond or react to (there is a difference)... each day is full of moments that are either flowing with what we want or interupting our lives in self or socially perceived positive or negative fashions to create those aHa moments... Keep clear your intentions for yourself, find your focus and... what's most important, in my glimpse this morning, is for all of us to understand that seeing, hearing or knowing a part or all of anything and what we feel/think or do about it, is up to each of us.
Groove on oh mighty warriors - we all have what it takes - some just don't know it yet.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Glimpse 3 - Choosing to be with
I heard a woman say this recently, "I choose to be with you."
It left a definite impact on me.
Who do I choose to be with?
There are people I choose to be around, be near, be working with - but who do I choose to BE with.
The choice is mine. The choice is yours.
Always, all ways.
It left a definite impact on me.
Who do I choose to be with?
There are people I choose to be around, be near, be working with - but who do I choose to BE with.
The choice is mine. The choice is yours.
Always, all ways.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Glimpse 2 - Compliments - Acknowledgment - Encouragement
In coaching we spend a great deal of time acknowledging people. I initially believed acknowledging was offering a heart felt compliment to someone. I was kinda right and kinda wrong.
Complimenting is a groovy thing to give and to get!
"Nice report, Mary." "Great tie, Larry." Compliments.
Acknowledgment goes deeper. "Mary, the details you provided in this report really made the solution very clear. You really shared a gift with your team in this one." "Larry, you seem to always know how to brighten our day with your appearance, your sense of style is something I really appreciate." Acknowledgments.
See the difference. One is catching the person "doing" something - the other is catching the person "contributing something they value" in our world, they are sharing a piece of their character. And it often has little to do with what you might believe, see first or even find important for you - it's all about the other person and you noticing and calling out their contribution in their most natural state.
And from compliment to acknowledgement it's kinda like the difference between a sip and a gulp of water. And most of us are very thirsty people....
Sometimes we toss, offer, give a compliment or an acknowledgment when our intention is to offer encouragement. Again, there is a difference in each one of these.
Encouragement is the act of supporting or helping. Ask any athlete what cheering can do for them or their team, ask a person who is grieving what good a kind hand and a broad shoulder is to them, stop by any food shelter, remember back to 911, turn on CNN and witness Hurricane Katrina, Haiti - encouragement pours forth from us.
Today, I got a compliment, an acknowledgement AND encouragement. In baseball terms, the bases are loaded! I am bursting with possibilities and opportunity. I am seen, heard, present in some lives I happen to adore and respect -- all for showing up and doing what I love to do.. What could be easier? Without these three things added in to my mix on occasion, from self or others... well a lot of things would be easier than doing what I love.
The purpose of a compliment, an acknowledgment and encouragement in coaching is to give someone space and time to see the expanse that lays before them, to show them they have all the tools they need to do what it is they love or want to do, and do it well and potentially you'll be cheering for them. It's the proverbial, catch someone doing it right, story.
Some of us have been intentional in creating the home, work, social and familial relationships we want and even require in our lives. Some of us have not been so conscious about it and are dealing with what we have created. In creating your circle of influence that surrounds you today I request you to go out to three vallued people in your life and offer 1 compliment, 1 acknowledgement and 1 encouragement. And notice the response from the person you offer it too -- and then notice your own response - as well as what transpires over the next week or so.
In my coaching, the thing I probably love most of all is hearing each person come bravely forward in their life knowing, beyond a shadow of a doubt, they have learned some new thing and have put it to practice to better their own life and the lives around them. Learning and putting action to these three skills has absolutely made my life rich and real with deep connections to others, as they are. Avatar got this one right. I see you.... and the coach in me would add, and you are magnificent.
So go on... you can do it... I believe in you... you really do have what it takes.
C
Complimenting is a groovy thing to give and to get!
"Nice report, Mary." "Great tie, Larry." Compliments.
Acknowledgment goes deeper. "Mary, the details you provided in this report really made the solution very clear. You really shared a gift with your team in this one." "Larry, you seem to always know how to brighten our day with your appearance, your sense of style is something I really appreciate." Acknowledgments.
See the difference. One is catching the person "doing" something - the other is catching the person "contributing something they value" in our world, they are sharing a piece of their character. And it often has little to do with what you might believe, see first or even find important for you - it's all about the other person and you noticing and calling out their contribution in their most natural state.
And from compliment to acknowledgement it's kinda like the difference between a sip and a gulp of water. And most of us are very thirsty people....
Sometimes we toss, offer, give a compliment or an acknowledgment when our intention is to offer encouragement. Again, there is a difference in each one of these.
Encouragement is the act of supporting or helping. Ask any athlete what cheering can do for them or their team, ask a person who is grieving what good a kind hand and a broad shoulder is to them, stop by any food shelter, remember back to 911, turn on CNN and witness Hurricane Katrina, Haiti - encouragement pours forth from us.
Today, I got a compliment, an acknowledgement AND encouragement. In baseball terms, the bases are loaded! I am bursting with possibilities and opportunity. I am seen, heard, present in some lives I happen to adore and respect -- all for showing up and doing what I love to do.. What could be easier? Without these three things added in to my mix on occasion, from self or others... well a lot of things would be easier than doing what I love.
The purpose of a compliment, an acknowledgment and encouragement in coaching is to give someone space and time to see the expanse that lays before them, to show them they have all the tools they need to do what it is they love or want to do, and do it well and potentially you'll be cheering for them. It's the proverbial, catch someone doing it right, story.
Some of us have been intentional in creating the home, work, social and familial relationships we want and even require in our lives. Some of us have not been so conscious about it and are dealing with what we have created. In creating your circle of influence that surrounds you today I request you to go out to three vallued people in your life and offer 1 compliment, 1 acknowledgement and 1 encouragement. And notice the response from the person you offer it too -- and then notice your own response - as well as what transpires over the next week or so.
In my coaching, the thing I probably love most of all is hearing each person come bravely forward in their life knowing, beyond a shadow of a doubt, they have learned some new thing and have put it to practice to better their own life and the lives around them. Learning and putting action to these three skills has absolutely made my life rich and real with deep connections to others, as they are. Avatar got this one right. I see you.... and the coach in me would add, and you are magnificent.
So go on... you can do it... I believe in you... you really do have what it takes.
C
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Glimpse 1 - Finding Focus
I'm a professional coach. I'm trained in this. Spent years studying and practicing, supported well over 2000 people in doing exactly this... and I've even taught others how to do it. And yet...my ability to find focus these past few months has been riddled with what I thought was a chronic patter of distraction from re-starting my own business and getting on with my life.
The patter of distraction goes like this: mom and dad are in their very late 80's and have had serious health issues. A good friend has been burnt out and down on her luck and is sharing my home while transitioning right now. Feelings of betrayal by a few well intentioned and loving friends who just couldn't spit their truth out at me directly had me reeling. An opportunity I didn't have the guts to stand up and fight for no longer exists in one form and the guilt and shame related within it. My only child dealing, coping and facing a rare disorder and it's been atrocious and without a cure. Hell even my dog got sick. And yet, we are all still here, moving forward, living on, figuring it out - together. And these have been my "distractions."
And until I sat down with it this morning, I didn't realize it wasn't distraction. It's in perfect alignment with my intention for my life - and there in on the radar of my focus - all of it.
In coaching we work to find, sharpen and hone the focus that often pops up out of a giganzo intention you've set or support you setting for yourself, YOUR life.... Setting a foci/focus is one way to create the barometer for best daily choices and actions, attitudes and boundaries to support and maintain forward growth, movement, strength and fun of building and being in your intentional life.
Don't know what your intentional life looks like? Think you've lost focus? Make a list of the ten biggest life events/challenges you have been working through in the past 90 days. Who are you "being" in these places? What are you wanting for yourself or others when you are standing in those places? Chances are, those area's you are working through and focused on come out of some part, layer or level of what truly creates a giganzo, kick ass, woohoo! intentional life for you.
While I thought I was being distracted - I wasn't. I just didn't realize I am, absolutely, living fully present in the midst of my own intentional life statement. How did I miss this? Are you missing yours too? My giganzo life intention statement is written in a notebook here - of which part of it says - Cyn is of love, kindness, transparency, intelligence, compassion, laughter, truth telling, connection and support of self and others every day of her life.
How did I miss it? Because I wasn't paying attention.
Personal awareness when in coaching or in your life doesn't always mean the glimpse is exactly what you want for others. It is seeing exactly what is and applying your focus and intentional life to any given opportunity when and where you choose. My choice is mine. I've set my intentions. I'm responsible for my choices, actions, attitude and energy. Anything less is claiming victimhood. I'm no victim. Are you?
The patter of distraction goes like this: mom and dad are in their very late 80's and have had serious health issues. A good friend has been burnt out and down on her luck and is sharing my home while transitioning right now. Feelings of betrayal by a few well intentioned and loving friends who just couldn't spit their truth out at me directly had me reeling. An opportunity I didn't have the guts to stand up and fight for no longer exists in one form and the guilt and shame related within it. My only child dealing, coping and facing a rare disorder and it's been atrocious and without a cure. Hell even my dog got sick. And yet, we are all still here, moving forward, living on, figuring it out - together. And these have been my "distractions."
And until I sat down with it this morning, I didn't realize it wasn't distraction. It's in perfect alignment with my intention for my life - and there in on the radar of my focus - all of it.
In coaching we work to find, sharpen and hone the focus that often pops up out of a giganzo intention you've set or support you setting for yourself, YOUR life.... Setting a foci/focus is one way to create the barometer for best daily choices and actions, attitudes and boundaries to support and maintain forward growth, movement, strength and fun of building and being in your intentional life.
Don't know what your intentional life looks like? Think you've lost focus? Make a list of the ten biggest life events/challenges you have been working through in the past 90 days. Who are you "being" in these places? What are you wanting for yourself or others when you are standing in those places? Chances are, those area's you are working through and focused on come out of some part, layer or level of what truly creates a giganzo, kick ass, woohoo! intentional life for you.
While I thought I was being distracted - I wasn't. I just didn't realize I am, absolutely, living fully present in the midst of my own intentional life statement. How did I miss this? Are you missing yours too? My giganzo life intention statement is written in a notebook here - of which part of it says - Cyn is of love, kindness, transparency, intelligence, compassion, laughter, truth telling, connection and support of self and others every day of her life.
How did I miss it? Because I wasn't paying attention.
Personal awareness when in coaching or in your life doesn't always mean the glimpse is exactly what you want for others. It is seeing exactly what is and applying your focus and intentional life to any given opportunity when and where you choose. My choice is mine. I've set my intentions. I'm responsible for my choices, actions, attitude and energy. Anything less is claiming victimhood. I'm no victim. Are you?
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