Glimpse 19 - If you need something, ask for it.

You know how people say, "If I need something, I'll ask you for it?" and you really don't believe them? From last week forward, I will now, always believe them. Because they can and will.

Last week, the phone rang and I answered... The very calm, deep voice who had, on any number of occasions in the past six years told me, "If I need something I'll ask you for it" baritoned in, just above a whisper and said, "I'm in trouble. I need your help." "What's the closest hospital to where I'm at?" Stunned, I responded with information and concise directions to the out of town friend here on business. I hung up the phone, summoned my wing woman Joan, and up the freeway we went to be supportive. A person with the highest pain tolerance of anyone I've ever known was about to enter a hospital ER for beyond major pain, swelling and redness in his ankle and calf and I had no clue what to do.

What I learned once more is something as simple as "being there" really, really matters. This life lesson seems to repeat itself over and over and over again in my life - each time the message finds me, it seems strangely new in "where" and "how" I know it as a universal truth. I am quite certain that while I believe I "have it" now I probably don't.

Here's what else I learned as my life views grew a bit deeper after this nine hour start-to-finish emergency room experience with my pal and my wing woman. In no specific order:

1. Never underestimate the importance of saying or asking for what it takes to become comfortable and support your own healing.
2. When life gets reduced to it's most painful moments we show up with our truest character.
3. The simplicity of being allowed by someone to "just be there" is a TRUE overlooked gift.
4. Whether the reason for your malaise is suspected, unknown or known the related anxiety about any of it sucks.
5. The touch of another human being really does reduce blood pressure.
6. No one else knows how you feel or could possibly go through what you go through no matter what they try to infer they know about your condition or situation.
7. Love, faith and prayer work miracles as do getting the right pain meds.
8. Ask how you can best support someone in the hospital. Only make suggestions after you've asked that first one.
9. Be grateful for the people who love you and tell them often.
10. Recognize hospital emergency rooms seem to work best if you don't suffer in silence, they respond best to he who comes in by ambulance or yells the loudest, passes out or bleeds the most gets attention first... unless someone in your party speaks up for you and threatens to go all Shirley McClaine on them.
11. Hospitalized people have very well oiled and running 'bullshit meters'. It takes some serious chops to look a suffering someone in the eyes while witnessing more pain than you believed humanly possible and believe yourself when say it's going to get better soon. If you can't do this part, step out of the room, you aren't helping the person in the bed if you start slobbering or become an "it's all about you" drama princess/prince with your anxiety and worries. (Door 5 at FSH did you hear that?)
12. Nurses are angels. ER doctors are quite possibly the coldest blooded animals on the planet to do some of the procedures they do in the name of medicine to 'heal' you.
13. Hospitals operate under very bright, shiny lights for good reason... they also glare in a patients eyes and add to stress levels. Ask or turn em down if possible.
14. Having your contact information for loved ones available in your cell phone is a good thing. Mark them with the relationship of the person on those that are family members when you can. Have you done the ICE on your cell fon yet? For that matter, always carry a card in your wallet with your medical history, allergies and insurance information.
15. Having a computer available while visiting a hospital is awesome. Especially when the DOCTOR and NURSE tell you to check the internet for more information on your condition. (yep they really said that)
16. Ask direct questions. Get direct answers and write them down - you'd be amazed what you'll forget after you get out of there.
17. Drink lots of water, get good rest, watch your alcohol intake and never eat sushi twice in one week if gout runs in your family.
18. When it's all in the rear view mirror, and everyone is out the other side, be sure to stop and look each other in the eye and tell one another you love them.

Everyone is well and returned to their own homes and lives once more. Yet this is a day I won't soon forget all of these little pieces about.

The most important piece for me in all of this is to follow my coaches ethics and let it move more deeply into my entire life that people truly are creative, resourceful and whole. If you believe in them and yourself, they will always do what they believe is best for them - including asking for help when they need it.

Don't let anxiety or shame, guilt or fear of something get in your way of asking yourself or someone else for what you need; your literal and figurative life, comfort and fulfillment might just depend on it.

And, thank you my friend for keeping your word and for asking for what you wanted, when you needed it.