Glimpse 23 - Frustration and your choices...

After watching the Jet Blue flight attendant, Steven Slater, make his escape from what was probably buggin him for quite some time I realize how overwhelming life can get for all of us at times when we aren't operating within our value system. In coaches training I was taught about things like knowing what you are tolerating, creating standards, raising standards and creating meaningful well held boundaries as some of the first steps of getting back on track. All of which do seem to be in support of the "me" of it - functioning with greater ease and less frustration, "if"I pay attention, gain awareness, learn something and then make choices toward what I really want out of my life. No one said it would be difficult or easy. The message of coaches training was quite clear, my reality, is my reality, create with it what you desire or take what you get and either whine with the masses or shut the hell up about it and go postal later.

I'd guess Steven Slater was of the shutting the hell up about it variety - until it came to the breaking point. David Allen Coe wrote Johnny Paychecks big hit, "Take This Job and Shove It" in the mid to late 70's. Clearly this phenom of being "upset" at work is not new. We even have laws to prevent some of this 'mistreatment' or 'discrimination' of workers in the work place. Unions, EEOC, Civil Liberties - good goodness, people have made HUGE livings out of protecting us from ourselves and one another. This "me or we" versus "him/her/them" attitude in our lives is pervasive. It rings to me of "Mahhhmmmm, Paula's punching me again". How old are we? Who is responsible for us; our behaviors and our inability or ability to communicate with one another? What is this age old "drama" we get ourselves in to as adults? Who said it's a right that should be automatically bestowed to you to love your boss, your work, your working conditions, commute, paycheck, annual review, customers? A friend once said that a paycheck is currency for trading hours of my life to accomplish their mission through me. And who is responsible for that choice? Me. Always comes back to me.

Maybe some folks missed the eternal parental question concerning personal responsibility and choice of "If your friends all jumped off a bridge, would you jump off the bridge too?"

If you are frustrated - don't just sit there and wait until you can't take it any more. Your frustration is a HUGE smoke detector (been here and said this before) of what is going on with YOU in YOUR life. Don't just smack it to reset - sit yourself down and have a good discovery session about what is really chapping your proverbial ass and then decide what you want to do about it - and when you are going to start making some change or deal with the fire and smoke damage that will eventually cloud even the keenest of judgments.

What you? Create something new? I have a mortgage, kids, aging parents, animals, obligations. Sorry, heard all that and know it's just bologna. So what if you have to tighten your belt, go back to school, leave a relationship, move, work out, eat right, get moving, meet new people, get beyond something, stop smoking, stop drinking, slow down, speed up to have the life you really desire - no matter what it is, its all on YOU. Not your mother, your father, your partner, your kids, your boss, your illness, your dog or even your ghosts of Christmas past can hold you back from living a damn fine life if that's what you really want. It may take time....yet isn't progress towards what you want better than the landscape of nothing different rushing daily by?

So before you work yourself up and off into an emergency jump slide popping out the 737 of your life, recognize the only time you have is now to effect or affect anything - YOU have choices, YOU are able to make changes, YOU have the power to give yourself the gift of a lifetime - understanding yourself. IMHO, I will add, designing a life you want to be in and then taking the steps necessary to communicate and insure you get that life or some fabulous derivation therein takes more than most people want to put in to it. Every day you live in a space and place you are frustrated or unhappy is a significant indicator that you are sacrificing a great deal to live a mediocre existance at best. Stopping frustration and overwhelm isn't all that difficult. Work with a coach - or in some cases a mental health professional. Frustration will always remain just one of many choices you can make. Which one will you make today?

Glimpse 22 - Circle of Influence

Aristotle said, "My best friend is the man who in wishing me well, wishes it for my sake."

Can you say this about the people who are closest to you in your life, in your circle of influence. For who's sake are you wishing someone well?