Glimpse 2 - Compliments - Acknowledgment - Encouragement

In coaching we spend a great deal of time acknowledging people. I initially believed acknowledging was offering a heart felt compliment to someone. I was kinda right and kinda wrong.

Complimenting is a groovy thing to give and to get!
"Nice report, Mary." "Great tie, Larry." Compliments.

Acknowledgment goes deeper. "Mary, the details you provided in this report really made the solution very clear. You really shared a gift with your team in this one." "Larry, you seem to always know how to brighten our day with your appearance, your sense of style is something I really appreciate." Acknowledgments.

See the difference. One is catching the person "doing" something - the other is catching the person "contributing something they value" in our world, they are sharing a piece of their character. And it often has little to do with what you might believe, see first or even find important for you - it's all about the other person and you noticing and calling out their contribution in their most natural state.

And from compliment to acknowledgement it's kinda like the difference between a sip and a gulp of water. And most of us are very thirsty people....

Sometimes we toss, offer, give a compliment or an acknowledgment when our intention is to offer encouragement. Again, there is a difference in each one of these.

Encouragement is the act of supporting or helping. Ask any athlete what cheering can do for them or their team, ask a person who is grieving what good a kind hand and a broad shoulder is to them, stop by any food shelter, remember back to 911, turn on CNN and witness Hurricane Katrina, Haiti - encouragement pours forth from us.

Today, I got a compliment, an acknowledgement AND encouragement. In baseball terms, the bases are loaded! I am bursting with possibilities and opportunity. I am seen, heard, present in some lives I happen to adore and respect -- all for showing up and doing what I love to do.. What could be easier? Without these three things added in to my mix on occasion, from self or others... well a lot of things would be easier than doing what I love.

The purpose of a compliment, an acknowledgment and encouragement in coaching is to give someone space and time to see the expanse that lays before them, to show them they have all the tools they need to do what it is they love or want to do, and do it well and potentially you'll be cheering for them. It's the proverbial, catch someone doing it right, story.

Some of us have been intentional in creating the home, work, social and familial relationships we want and even require in our lives. Some of us have not been so conscious about it and are dealing with what we have created. In creating your circle of influence that surrounds you today I request you to go out to three vallued people in your life and offer 1 compliment, 1 acknowledgement and 1 encouragement. And notice the response from the person you offer it too -- and then notice your own response - as well as what transpires over the next week or so.

In my coaching, the thing I probably love most of all is hearing each person come bravely forward in their life knowing, beyond a shadow of a doubt, they have learned some new thing and have put it to practice to better their own life and the lives around them. Learning and putting action to these three skills has absolutely made my life rich and real with deep connections to others, as they are. Avatar got this one right. I see you.... and the coach in me would add, and you are magnificent.

So go on... you can do it... I believe in you... you really do have what it takes.

C