Glimpse 26 - What are you good at?

A challenging question was posed to me by a very dear and very respected friend. I contemplated re-organizing what it is I call myself and what it is I do and how best to get there and he simply asked, "What are you good at?" I said I wasn't certain of any of it any more... So he asked if he could make a request (I grin because coaches know there are three ways to go when someone makes a request of you - yes you may, no you may not or counter offer the request with some changes....) His request was for me to sit down and note all the things I'm good at - whether I enjoyed them or not, just make note of them. I accepted the request. Hung up the phone and I began.

The MS Word screen from my computer stupified me and I sat with a blank document for 20 minutes. I switched to paper and pencil and a new venue, at my dining room table. The paper sat blank for 10 minutes. Then I began to quietly cry.

I'm a big stickler for truth and clarity with others and of course, with myself. I felt and thought I could write down, good cook, good music afficianado, good driver, good pet owner, good -- well you get it.. I thought those things would come tumbling out - and those and more - didn't.

I was stopped, dead in my tracks unable to write or utter a word. And I sat with a sadness I had not felt in years... and years... It was like writing it down made some declaration of certainty, I am good at _____! What always came to mind was I would think of someone else who could do it better than I or how I didn't know the definition of "good"... really... I didn't? It all boiled down to me saying, I'm good at being me. And therein, more tears appeared. I think it was telling me something. I was quite sure I didn't believe myself.

Coaches listen for pace, pitch, tone and timber in people's voice. Coaches listen for engagement, connection, disconnection, hesitancy, courage, bravado, intention, consistency, doubt, certainty, passion, disillusion - and a million other things... And in listening to myself I found I had left myself quite unconvinced that I knew much of anything about me. Really.

And all this came about because I want to re-engineer what it is I do, how I support, what I teach and how I myself learn and provide service in this world - with one powerful question. "What are you good at?" I could debate that what I am good at might not matter one iota about what it is I do or create next. If that were true, why all the emotion, doubt and self-ridicule around such a simple question.

We all often get "stuck" in our own belief systems when it comes time to make a decision about something just a titch further out beyond our comfort levels. Knowing what our belief's are and taking time to examine how they push or pull us forward is an important piece of work in each examined life I get paid to work with... well any life for that matter.

And in my own... it is a struggle... and I will not short cut this piece for myself on my way to wherever else it is my curiosity and desire to be of service will take me. When I come up and out of this box, I will be able to stand up and say, I am good/great/excellent at _____. And a part of being able to say it, even if it's only to myself, I am quite certain, is whatever comes up will be those things I know I want to learn even more about.

I'm also going to make a list that says, "Things I suck at or know nothing about and want to know more about ____." Perhaps one will support the other, perhaps not. I don't know, but I do know, for myself, I'm going to find out what I believe I'm good at.

If you can answer the question with the ease I thought I could before I started the exercise, bravo!!! Do share.... if not... take some time with it and do let me know, What are you good at?